My day started very early with a class on the Name of Allah, At-Tawwāb, The Accepter of Repentance. The triliteral root tā-wāw-bā, which means to turn from something toward something else, occurs 87 times in the Qur’an. He is the One who is constantly turned toward us, and He is the One to whom we return.

This Name is almost always paired with the Name Ar-Rahīm, The Especially Merciful, except for one place where it is paired with Al-Hakīm, The Most Wise. It is a mercy that He turns to us, willing to accept our repentance. My teacher said that tawba isn’t merely repentance, it is a homecoming. It is inviting. It gives the believer a place to return to, no matter how far they feel they have gone.

So I walked with this Name throughout the day, calling upon Him. Ya Allah, Ya Rabb, with an open heart I come to You. You are the Accepter of Repentance. Ya Rabb, Ya Tawwāb, I come seeking Your pleasure, asking that You turn my heart toward You, for You are the Turner of hearts.

Like sayyiduna Dawūd, strengthen me and make me one who constantly turns to You. Like sayyiduna Sulaymān, make me an excellent servant who constantly turns to You. Like sayyiduna Ayyūb, count me among the patient, one who is constantly turned toward You

Ya Rabb, Ya Tawwāb, to You belongs my heart with all of its flaws, pain, and heaviness. Turn my heart, by Your mercy, toward You. Ya Rabb, many times I have felt ashamed, undeserving, and shy to call upon You when I have fallen short. Yet each time, You have gently guided my heart back to Your door of forgiveness.

Ya Rahīm, by Your special mercy, make me among those who are shaded under Your Throne. My sins are many, but Your forgiveness and acceptance are vast, far more expansive than my shortcomings. Your mercy is far more hopeful to me than my deeds will ever be.

Ya Rabb, do not deprive me of Your refuge. Protect me from building a home in my guilt and shame and let me always find my way back to You. Ya Rabb, protect me from the whispers of shaytan, and make me among the tawwābīn, those who constantly turn to You and those whom You love.

You are Al-Quddūs, The Pure, The Purifier. Purify me and purify my heart. Pour into it the light of Your guidance and do not let it harden after You have softened it. Allahumma Amin ya Rabb.

With Love,

Ibtisam